A. Anthony McLellan

The unexamined life is not worth living – Socrates.

Perhaps the Apostle Paul had in mind the wise Socratic saying about self-scrutiny when Paul told the first believers: “Examine yourselves … test yourselves” (2 Corinthians 13:5). As Christian people seek to undergo self-examination, two key questions emerge. Firstly, we may ask ourselves, what do I wish to be remembered for, and secondly, what is my real purpose in life?

Clearly the answer to those questions must not relate to mere material possessions, especially given the great paradox that the more you seek, the less you gain. Jesus expressed the folly of material gain when he posed this rhetorical question:

“What good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul?” (Matthew 16:26).

So how do we move from success to significance?

Bob Buford considered that key question in his helpful book Half Time (1994) that provided a most useful framework for examining the value of our actions and consequently changing our behaviour.

He stressed the importance of moving from success to significance, urging individuals (especially in middle age) to shift from career achievements to a deeper purpose. He encouraged us to ensure the second half of life is more meaningful and fulfilling than the first. My regret is that I did not make the necessary adjustments earlier in my life and work, especially in the area of business.

Since we are much more likely to be remembered for good works and loving activities than for our business achievements, it’s a real pity that so many of us make excuses for not helping others, especially claiming that we are simply too busy.

I give thanks to God for parents who made time for me, especially in my formative years. Aged four and five and six, my parents read to me stories about Christopher Robin and Pooh Bear. My wife and I did the same with our three children when they were little. The author, A. A. Milne was a thoughtful man, to whom is attributed this musing:

In the quiet hours, when we are alone and there is nobody to tell us what fine fellows we are, we come sometimes upon a moment in which we wonder, not how much money we are earning, nor how famous we have become, but what good we are doing.

As Milne indicated, that issue is to be pondered in the private chambers of the heart. And, as we all know, the best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or touched but are felt in the heart. Things like love, inspiration, courage, and joy. For me, the key to moving from success to significance was not a change of job, but a change of heart, as I resolved to be a giver and not a taker.

Contrary to all our human instincts, the greatest psychologist of all time (Jesus of Nazareth) said that “It is more blessed to give than to receive” (Acts 20:35).

That principle was echoed by John Bunyan in the Pilgrim’s Progress (1684):

A man there was, though some did count him mad, the more he cast away the more he had.

While it is very good to give away money, especially if we have succeeded in business, real giving relates to self-denial and self-sacrifice.

I love the story of General Lee, the famous Confederate leader, who was riding off to battle when he was approached by a lady carrying her infant son. After explaining that her husband had been killed in battle, she appealed to the much-admired General for advice on what she should teach her baby boy. Looking down from his horse, the General’s reply was simple: “Teach him to deny himself.”

Many years later, in his famous “Day of Affirmation” address in 1966, Senator Robert Kennedy said:

It is from numberless diverse acts of courage such as these that the belief that human history is thus shaped. Each time a man stands up for an ideal, or acts to improve the lot of others, or strikes out against injustice, he sends forth a tiny ripple of hope, and crossing each other from a million different centers of energy and daring, those ripples build a current which can sweep down the mightiest walls of oppression and resistance.

By being generous not only with our money, but also by serving others, we will send out tiny ripples of hope.

My wife and I saw that principle demonstrated powerfully by the Amish community in Pennsylvania as we observed their unusual way of living. The Amish are deeply committed Christians whose faith is rooted within ultra-conservative 17th century Dutch Calvinism.

The Amish people reject most modern conveniences. For example, they work their farms using animals, and travel around in horse-drawn buggies. They do not even use zip fasteners in their trousers as they believe zips are a modern invention that adds nothing to the quality of life.

But they strongly recognise God’s hand in everything, believing God is with us every hour, every day, everywhere.

That faith was sorely tested in 2006 when a gunman named Charles Roberts entered the West Nickel Mines Junior School and took students hostage. Armed with a 9mm pistol and a 12-gauge shotgun, he shot several girls, killing seven. Five were badly wounded but survived.

The first policeman on the scene reported there was not one chair or one desk in the entire school that was not covered in blood.

Shortly after the murders, Amish community members (including some of the mothers) visited Roberts’ widow, his parents and parents-in-law to offer them comfort in their hour of need! One Amish father of a murdered girl held Roberts’ father in his arms and they cried together for over an hour.

The extraordinarily generous American people responded to this horrific tragedy by donating over $4 million to the Amish families who had lost their children. Amish people do not normally accept charity, but on this occasion, they used the money to pay for the surviving children’s medical care. I understand this came to around $1.5 million.

Astonishingly, the Amish parents gave the remaining $2.5 million to Charles Roberts’s widow.

This incredible gesture of forgiveness and generosity taught me a profound lesson. A person who forgives becomes empowered.

My wife and I are building a hospital in Tanzania that will treat girls suffering from the horrendous problem of fistula. These are nearly all Islamic girls who married far too early and then fell pregnant. The young girls were unable to deliver the baby and in the process their bodies were dramatically torn to pieces.

We have named the hospital after Phaedra Vrontamitis, the beautiful Christian mother of our much-loved son-in-law. Phaedra was killed by Islamic terrorists who blew up the USA embassy in Nairobi, where she headed the visa section.

The plaque on the Phaedra Hospital reads as follows:

Our family’s irreplaceable loss will haunt us forever, but we try not to have this terrible tragedy blind us to Christianity’s command to forgive, whilst hanging on to the other cardinal virtues of hope and love. As we all examine our hearts, my prayer is that we will be so filled with the love of God that we astonish the world not by our success but by the significance we make by applying the same divine generosity that we ourselves enjoy in Christ.